


Living in Fear

by Forever_Sweet



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Depression, This is not a fun story.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4327509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Sweet/pseuds/Forever_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being in a human body was not an exciting experience. There was nothing fun about it and nothing new to discover that he would enjoy. Actually, if Bill had to sum up his experience as a human in one word it would be: terrifying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living in Fear

Being in a human body was not an exciting experience. There was nothing fun about it and nothing new to discover that he would enjoy. Actually, if Bill had to sum up his experience as a human in one word it would be: terrifying. 

Bill honestly had no idea how humans managed to enjoy their time in their meatsacks. Because Bill was not just miserable, but he was also mentally exhausted all the time. It felt like everything he did was going to be a wrong step in the wrong direction and everything was going to blow up. The only good thing was that it did give him some good perspective on why Dipper was always so sweaty. 

Not that Dipper was exactly empathetic to Bill’s situation at all. In fact the human boy preferred to stay as far away from Bill as he could physically get while staying in the same house. 

Dipper keeping his distance wasn’t a huge problem for Bill. In fact it made him a great deal less stressed because it meant that the kid wasn’t going to petition to remove Bill from the house.

To sum it all up, Bill’s new life as a human went as follows: sleep on the couch, read, draw, work at the shack, write codes, and try to stay out of the way. 

~OwO~

It was nine when the Pines in the house left the living room and retired to bed. Leaving Bill alone with his book, which he read a few more lines of before setting it down. Bill wasn’t going to bed though, instead he got up and checked every single door to make sure the locks were secured. 

With his trusty pocket knife in hand he would make sure each lock was properly fastened three times before moving on to the next. Each lock had to give off a satisfying click or Bill was going to spend the whole night awake and straining to hear if anyone broke in. 

When he was convinced each door was completely safe then Bill would return to the couch to read. 

Setting the open knife down on his lap, Bill pulled his book back out. After reading a few paragraphs he would strain his hearing for any weird sounds and then go back to reading. It was a cycle and it would continue all night until the sun was coming up and the birds were chirping. 

The birds would chirp and Bill would put his book away to be picked up in the morning. Curling up he would pull down the sleeves of his sweater-jacket and use it as a blanket. Pulling the stuffed deer he had acquired closer, Bill blocked out his panicked thoughts and fell asleep.

Three hours later and the Pines were awake, banging and talking loudly as they ate breakfast. If the noise didn’t wake Bill then Mabel would come shake him awake. Since Bill didn’t ever eat breakfast he didn’t have to come into the kitchen. Instead he could stay in the living room with his book and deer and try to pretend he was in the mindscape again.

After breakfast though Stan would tell him to get off the couch so he could help out at the Mystery Shack. Bill didn’t have any special talents, so he was used mostly for clean-up. The job would have bothered him more, except it involved no human contact and that was fine with him.

Unless a confused tourist wandered over and started asking questions about the shack.

“Do you know how much the tickets are?”

“I think they’re twelve dollars…?”

“What was that? Can you speak up a little bit? I can’t hear you.”

“They’re twelve dollars sir.”

“That’s outrageous! Why would you sell them for twelve dollars each?”

“I don’t control the prices sir…

"Is there anyway that you can make an exception for me and my family?”

“I can’t help you.”

“How about eight dollars each instead?”

“Sir! I don’t control the prices!” It was a rare outburst and Bill could feel his whole body tremble with the effort. His face turning red and getting hot with embarrassment. 

Then Stan was marching over to Bill and the tourist, a cheery face as he greeted the costumer enthusiastically and negotiated eleven dollars per ticket instead of twelve. 

After the tourist had wandered off, he turned to Bill with a hard look on his face. Bill could never remember ever being made nervous by Stan Pines when he was a demon, but then again he could always poof away if things looked like they were going to get hairy.

“What are you doing yelling at the costumer?”

“…He kept trying to get me to lower the prices…”

“What?! Then you send him over to me! You don’t yell at him yourself! Sheesh, you could have run off a perfectly good paying costumer, Bill!”

“I’m sorry, sir…” The look of anger morphed into something that Bill wasn’t familiar with, but he was sure it was pity. He hated being pitied, but he bit his tongue as his cheeks grew even more red.

“Just get back to your job before I fire ya, you moocher.” Those were Stan’s last words before he turned away and left Bill there alone. Stan’s words washed over Bill’s anger like cold water and made him feel somber. 

Because Stan’s words were true, and Bill could say nothing in his defense against them. He had no powers, no identity, no skills, and no worth.

After work everyone would settle down to eat dinner, and this was Bill’s first meal of the day. Since he wasn’t sure what he was and wasn’t allowed to eat, so he just waited until dinner when he could eat whatever everyone else was.

Dipper spent the whole dinner ignoring Bill, as usual, and focusing on his food. Stan also seemed engrossed in his food, only looking up to answer one of Mabel’s questions or to comment on what she was saying. 

Mabel, however, would lean over and start chatting away in Bill’s ear non-stop. Then she would ask his input, something he hated giving since all he could give were choppy and evasive answers. Mabel never seemed to mind though as she continued talking non-stop.

Bill knew never to tune her out though because if Mabel liked him then the rest of the household would tolerate him. So, anytime she directed her attention to him, he would try his best to follow along with what she was talking about.

After dinner everyone would go into the living room to watch some TV together. Something Bill loathed since it meant that he could not escape from them or read his book in peace. Because if he was reading his book while the Pines were fascinated with whatever they were watching then Bill would be an outcast.

If Bill let himself be an outcast then the Pines would find a reason to get rid of him. Bill had no where to go, no special skills he could use to survive, and no say in anything.

If the Pines wanted to watch something that Bill hated then he sucked it up and watched it too. It was awful though because he needed more mental stimulation than a TV to stay awake, and without it he often fell asleep.

It was one of those nights where the exhaustion really got to him and he dozed off without even noticing. He did notice though when he was roughly pushed to the side and an angry pre-teen was yelling about him to Stan.

“Stan he fell asleep on me and was drooling!” Dipper’s face was red with anger and Bill could feel the trembling return as he tried to make himself as small as possible.

“Aha! Maybe if we weren’t watching such nerdy tv then he would stay awake!” Mabel was giggling and gesturing to the sci-fi channel movie that was playing.

“Yeah, kid. Last time we let you pick what we watch for family movie night. Hey, Bill, try to stay awake long enough to humor the kid.” Stan gruffly laughed and returned to the movie, Mabel doing so as well.

Dipper, however, kept glaring at Bill and the former demon pulled his sweater-jacket tighter around him. Finally the boy rolled his eyes and turned back to the programming, getting lost in the graphics of space quickly.

While all the Pines were focused on the programming, Bill snuck his stuffed deer out from under the couch. Stuffing it into his sweater-jacket, he hugged it close to his body and tried to focus on the TV.

When the programming was over with Stan popped his neck and took a deep breath. Then his face scrunched up and Bill’s heart sunk into his stomach.

“Yeesh, Bill. You need to take a shower pronto before you kill all the woodland animals with that stench.”

“Okay…” Everyone returned to the TV and as Bill shuffled out of the room he could hear the twins fighting over what to watch next. The chaos between the two would have made him smile before, but now he was too heavy inside to care.

Showers weren’t all that terrible, but Bill always felt uncomfortable taking them. He always smelled less like himself and more like the humans he was surrounded by. It made him feel like he was being assimilated into a new culture against his will.

Still he did it because if he did not then the Pines would complain and maybe Stan would threaten to throw him out. 

Stan had never threatened it before, but Bill could swear that the words were always on the tip of the old man’s tongue.

Stepping out of the shower, Bill shivered and hugged the towel closer around him. Glancing briefly down at himself he tried not to wince when he poked at the various bruises decorating his flesh.

Since he had never experienced having a human body of his own, Bill was more than a little clueless on how to do things. This led to a lot of accidents and a lot of injuries; which Bill had learned how to take care of without help from others.

After getting a piece of toilet paper and taping it over the small bleeding wound on his side, Bill got dressed in his clean clothes. Then his sweater-jacket; which made some of the tension melt out of his shoulders as his own familiar scent wrapped around him.

He was ready to leave the bathroom when he caught his reflection in the mirror. The human staring back at him had deep circles under their eyes, and their body was hunched over in an attempt to take up less space. Any height they might have had crunched down to an acceptable level.

Standing up straighter, Bill also widened his stance so that he took up more space. A flicker of his old mischievous glint flitted through his eyes as he enjoyed how large he was. It made him feel more confident and he rolled his shoulders back, thinking of maybe going into the forest and finding a deer; even pulling out its teeth and leaving them in Pin-

“Bill! Grunkle Stan says to stop using all the hot water and get out of the bathroom or you are cleaning the whole shack by yourself tomorrow!” Dipper’s voice broke any illusion of his old thoughts and Bill saw his shoulders slump in the mirror.

Having spent enough time in the bathroom, Bill went back downstairs and rejoined the Pines in the living room. This time though he fished out his book and blocked out everything so he could read it. After all, he had spent a socially acceptable amount of time pretending to be interested in the shows the Pines were watching.

When it was nine the Pines turned off the TV and left the room to get ready for bed. Bill read a few more lines of his book before putting it down and grabbing his pocket knife. 

The cycle began again.


End file.
